MintCoaTea

My new black dress and purple pantyhose look super cute! Also, I had a bunch of dreams earlier today; A lady drowning underwater and going unconscious so she stabbed her throat to re-energize herself and attempt to pull her boyfriend up as well. Parents surprising their trans daughter with a spool of aqua blue thread and the mom letting her know that now she can make what ever she wants. (I thought that dream with the seamstress trans daughter was so touching and it reminded me of how my Mommy brought me 3DS Max some months ago so that way I can make things). Also in my dreams, a glow-in-the-dark light show at a church. My Daddy listening to the song "I think I'm falling for you, I've been waiting all my life and now I've found you, I think I'm falling for you". (That's the song that got stuck in my head at the mental hospital last year, I love it!). Also, in my dream, I was at the kitchen and I said to myself something like, "I'm inte...

It was a pleasant surprise to see $14.37 in my bank account. I think that's the real revenue amount from my Gothic Apocalypse Coloring book sale. It's pretty awesome to have it finally arrive. I remember Amazon telling me about the sale in an email, then that's when I realized that the $2 something wasn't my Kindle revenue after all. I guess $14 is more fair than $2. Thanks for reading, and  thanks for buying my book, kind friend!

So on Fortunecoins, I played with the free SC I've collected about $6 SC and I worked it up to about $70-$80 over the course of hours, I tried to make more money but then it all went down to $0.08 cents within under an hour. I can't with this anymore. Thanks for reading.

I've waited about a week or so for my $72 SC to finally credit on Golden Heart Games. So then I try to get to $100 to redeem cash, I got up to $80, then it was lots of losses after that, I went all the way down to like $0.06 cents. I was so freaking close. I hate myself, gosh. Thanks for reading.

May 26th 2026 was supposed to be my last day if the storage wasn't paid for, but fortunately yesterday my brother notified me that my uncle's wife helped us with it. So then I thanked him. That was quite a relief yesterday, because the storage would of went to auction today if not paid for and it would have been all my fault and I wouldn't be able to live with that guilt, so I planned on taking oxytocin in the morning and writing a note, and going outside and locking the door and placing the keys somewhere outside with their location described in the note and then disappearing somewhere far away never to return, never again to live another day. May 26th, dead at 26, dead 19 days after my birthday. I thought that'll be perfect. But, it's now 12am May 27th, so I lived through it. Today was pretty enjoyable, and I'm glad I lived it. I went on a little adventure to look for my 2nd eldest sis. I figured she went to the gas station convince store, so I headed out ther...

I had x over cam just now with a returning subscriber. He wanted to do it over Insta, but I was afraid of a ban, so we agreed to it over OF live, pretty much the first time I've done a successful OF live. It was f-ing fun!  I ended the live at around 2:10pm, it lasted about 20 minutes. He tipped $20, the profit was $16 since OF took $4. But, it's still some money. Thx for reading!

I went on TikTok live for over two hours! Amassing over 4K viewers and over 2200 diamonds which accounted to about $22, which was about $8.55 after TikTok took their 60% share ): But, the show was so much fun!!!! I sang and danced a lot, and I put in my key key clip after singing happy day in hell and someone liked that song so I showed them my key key clip, which I haven't worn in a while, so it was good to wear it again, I always like a Hazbins Hotel fan. I also sang some of my original songs and stuff, it was so fun! Someone wanted me to sing cybernetic chick's, so I sang a bit of it ♡ Always towards the end of my live, I was like, darkness abound. Anyway, it's 11:56pm, time to call it a day. Thanks for reading! Sincerly,  Alan the Streamer Goddess! Now it's 11:58pm, cool. Thanks again for reading!

I was in the women's restroom and the janitor guy and I crossed paths we said sorry to each other than I went to the stall. It played the song man eater on the speaker. His job wasn't done as yet, so he called out, "Any ladies in here?!" (2-3x). On the second time he said that, I was like, "yes be out soon!". It then played BTS smooth like butter. My Mom's favorite band. I exited the bathroom, no one was there. I then go to buy a Hershe bar, and the first coin I pulled out happened to be one of a lady. That's so cool, I think that Mommy is giving me girl confidence telepathically, thanks Mommy! ♡

I canceled my redemption of $120 something at Golden Heart Games after I recovered it yesterday by adding my $50 visa gift card to the $70 I had reduced my balance to. Anyway, about an hour or two ago I tried to grow my balance because I had so many thoughts of the money I lost and how much I had to pay in loans. Before I canceled my redemption I thought of that line from Doctor Who with the Cybus Industries "I'm telling you, Don't". But, I decided to risk it and I paid the price, now I need to come up with another $120+ something to pay off my loans. And there's still the storage, my 2nd eldest sis finally paid the 1 of 2 storage units yesterday, thankfully. I just wish that she agreed to pay earlier, then I wouldn't be in such a desperate situation of trying to make more money. I still blame myself though because I've ruined my family and I's life when trying to improve it. I should definitely kill myself, this is just pure torture. Please call 988 i...

I suck at applying eyebrows, I haven't used Refresh like within a year. I actually scrapped my inner eye lid with my 2nd attempt. My 3rd-4th attempt were a total mess.

I lost $11 more from my $81 balance on Golden Heart Games. I should just get some rest at this point. 

On an attempt to re-earn my earnings, I canceled my $153 or $152 redemption on Golden Heart Games and I lost it all down to like $80, kill me. I guess I've lost $170 because I decided to try and make more money, it didn't work out in my favor and I hate myself for that. [If you feel suicidal, please call 988]. I still have like $140 in loans to pay back this week. I'm so devastated. Thank you for reading. 5:03am now, I should really get some rest.

I hate myself. I lost $20 more dollars at GlobalPoker.

4:23am. I lost $80 at loanstar casino after taking out $50+ in loan then winning $92 at Yaycasino the other day. I feel si horrid.  Thank you for reading.

So my 2nd youngest sis let me know that my 2nd eldest sister went to the gas station convince store, so I went there to follow her. On the way there, a bus stopped and dropped a student off. I didn't want to cause an interference with my presence, so I ran.  I saw a tall guy student in the bus and he yelled "Hey, where you going!" I was like, over there!  I felt like spider Gwen, lol.  Being so incognito and casually dressed. I finally teach the gas station, There, she forgot her card, so she was going to go back home to get it real quick, however I stepped in and gladly paid the for the goodies for my sis, just $4.14.  The clerk looked at me and asked, "sisters?" So I was like, "yeah (: My sister thanked me, "Thank you Alan". I was like, absolutely ♡ The clerk thanked me, too. Then I brought a $0.38 apple pop. And we walked back home together, my sister and I. Thanks for reading!

Earlier, after my Mom's funeral I noticed that I finally received the incentive payment for the women of color study that I completed in February. It took a while but I was glad to finally receive the $155, my bank was hounding me for the overdraft fee, I had to get $45 in my bank that day to cover the internet payment. So then I deposited $140 into realprize for their $170 pack. Realprize offers withdrawals straight to debit card, so I thought that'll be a great solution to move my gift card to my bank account via prize withdrawal. I ended up turning my original $140 investment into $200, then I lost it down to like $10, then I worked it up to $150 over the course of several hours. I still had $15 on my gift card, so I put $10 into chumba casino, but then I lost. I felt bad, so then I decided to chase my losses by canceling my redemption and try to make $10 extra. I ended up losing my $150.16 down to $0.06 cents. Now I feel like killing myself. I was ahead, but then I felt the...

Thank You For Always Being there For Me ♡ Watching your funeral was powerful in profound sadness, but remembering the good times and knowing that one day we'll be together again brought powerful happiness. Maybe one day will see each other again, but for now you're still part of me Mommy, you are my DNA, my Blood, my Love. I still don't accept your demise, I only accept your life, and I'm honored to of had shared that life with you, and I'm honored to be your daughter and have you as my Mother, and you better be able to see what I'm writing right now because it's so beautiful and it's making me feel emotional. I hope you feel my love and positive energy for you, Mommy ♡ I still miss your texts that end with a heart emoji ♡ Forever in my heart, my friend. 12 17am

After my Mom's funeral, my uncle treated my family and extended family to Outback. My uncle's wife complimented my face, she said that my face is so beautiful, so I thanked her and said you, too. She also complimented my eyeliner and the drawing I made of me and my Mom. My Daddy liked the drawing, too. I showed the finished drawing to him first because he asked if I finished it, so then I showed him. Also, my uncle's wife liked how independent I was because I had my work phone. She said, you're like "Ms. Independent". I smiled, and I was like yeah. After that my father next to me at the table began to use she/her pronouns for me instead of he/him, so that so, so affirming for me and so sweet. For lunch I had seltzer water and fries and chicken tenders. There was an appetizer of brown bread earlier, I declined it cause I wasn't sure what it contained. My uncle's wife asked if I was trying to keep my figure, so I laughed. When asked about the bread later...

Love You 4Ever Mommy Thank You For Always Being there For Me ♡

The family and I attended Mommy's Requim Funeral service. My Daddy was there and that calmed me to see him again. I did feel some anger and vengeance towards God and the world as a whole, so I smiled thinking about my plans of vengeance, but towards the end of the service I said Amen with the paster and the others. It was emotional seeing my Mom and her Mom in a box, but it was beautiful as well seeing them side by side again. My brother carried my Mom and my uncle carried my Mom's mom. When my siblings were crying during the service I felt so guilty because I knew that it was all my fault. But, after the funeral my brother let me know that it wasn't my fault after I apologized to him and my eldest sister while they were hugging. Also, my uncle's wife drove my siblings and I to the church because my brother was already there at the church with my father and they didn't want to delay, so we got a ride from uncle's wife. My elder sisters and I also got a ride in m...

So today is my Mom's funeral May 19th 2026, so that's pretty sad. I wore the dress I picked out a week ago at the church.  I wore the panty hose that my Mom washed for me, I think. It smelt like her detergent. I also used lavender deodorant, lavender is her favorite scent and plant. Also, my eldest sister asked to borrow my stockings.

I lost a free $88+ dollars. I was playing a free $1 dollar on Zula casino and I worked it up to like $88+ but then I lost it down to like $9, then got it back up to like $50 something then down to $0.08 cents. Don't play the Hacksaw Gaming Games, they're break your soul. At least I got to test out my new phone's gaming capabilities to the max. Although, I think I lost the most money once I moved my gameplay over to my PC. Gosh, I got greedy, I tried to climb that $80 to $800 like last time. Gosh, the pain hurts so, so bad right now. Thanks for reading. 1:39am.

I was depressed out of mind, so I drew this Ammonite [39] to pass the time. I haven't drew an Ammonite in a long time, so drawing one again was pretty helpful for me mentally. Art is truly something that gives me that gives me that extra reason to live life. I think without my creative expression I'd be almost totally completely consumed by depressed right now. Art gives me an escape and an outlet.  Be it drawing, singing, painting or rhyming, art gives me permission to stop thinking about all the things that are depressing. Anyway, Thanks for reading ♡ Art Stats: Creature:  Cretaceous Ammonite. Medium:  S23 Galaxy U Stylus & Autodesk Sketchbook. Side Note: I've been using Autodesk stuff for over 13 years, I should probably work for them by now as a brand ambassador, lol.

I finished setting up my new S23 Ultra earlier today, which was pretty phone. Case, stickers, accounts, all setup. The screen protector was not as advertised, I didn't want a hole near the fingerprint reader, yet there's a hole near the fingerprint reader. Also, the phone was locked, even though it was advertised as unlocked so I had to dance around that until I was finally able to unlock it. Also, I called Discover to see if I can dispute my SpinBlitz transactions, I was transferred a few times, the reps were nice, but unfortunately in the end there was nothing that could be done. I thanked them anyway. Although, earlier today that $18+ Uber Eats charge on my PayPal was finally taken care of and refunded to me. I later took $9.99 of that to Thrill Coins casino, because they had a $30 coin package for $9.99. I lost horribly and I feel horrible about it. I knew that this casino was a scam based on the trust pilot reviews, but I took the risk anyway because I just wanted my money...