MintCoaTea

Mentally I'm not well honestly, so time to take another break from social media, because my mind needs to heal, something isn't right, right now. I just need to focus on getting employment and getting my life back together. Negativity isn't helping me, rigging the system isn't helping me, comparison isn't helping me. I'm not dy1ng in poverty, I'll foxing fight to be wealthy and get my upcoming surgery, even if I X_X trying. Thank you.

I feel like crying. After speaking with ny therapist about the whole mental hospital thing and the sx work and the gambling of how I lost like $500 and $800. I logged onto Yay Casino and there was $12 in my account left from the $300 I lost, and I worked it up to $50.10, then I went to American Luck and worked up a dollar something to $20 something, but lost it. So then I canceled my $50.10 withdrawal at Yay Casino, and worked it up to $73.73, but then I lost it all and I just felt so upset, I felt like crying. At least I didn't put any more money into yhe casino like my therapist said. I just played off what I had previously. But this is such an emotional roller-coaster. I can't with it. Also, the electricity was due today and I couldn't pay and I felt like so so guilty. But fortunately my mom told me that it was paid for, we don't know who paid for it though. I told her maybe it was past me, you know time travel. She also gave me my black leggings which she had placed...

Job Assistance Building, my bro and I just came back from the employment assistance building and it was a pretty inspiring experience. They gave us some resources and advice, so that was pretty cool. Thanks for reading!

You know I was thinking of a scenario earlier today of how ironic it'll be if my surgery bill would be the cost of all the money I lost gambling this past few days, and yes I received the estimate today after my mom and bro were just talking about my surgery recovery. It's just $966, not an impossible amount to pay. I'm feeling actually pretty confident about this. I feel like this is a piece of cake. If I make $96 a day, I can make this in 10 days. (Side note, I won $90 in my dream today). If I work at Wendy's Today, I could have this in two weeks. $966 for boobs, isn't bad at all. I have till April, I believe I can do it. Let's a go! Thanks for reading!

If I don't get the job in 30 days, I'll ķ myself, I thought. Then sand or something got into my left eye while walking on the pavement to Hobby Lobby. That was weird. You know, I think Hobby Lobby is inspiring me a little. I actually tried to get a job here last year, but I didn't get it. But seriously, if I don't get employment this week... Never mind, we'd have to see, I'll try my best with my applications and stuff, having the high-speed internet makes things easier for job searching. Also, why Hobby Lobby? My brother needed a part there to finish his craft for the neighbor. I also got my brother's medicine at CVS a few moments prior, so that made me feel useful. I actually did get a call from a Mental Health Rep, earlier. She asked if I had thoughts of zui-zide since discharge from the hospital. And I loosely lied, and said "Not really". I honestly just didn't want to go back to the mental hospital, because going back this soon would be abs...

I lost another $49, my $800+ fortune is all but gone now. I feel like su1cide, but I must survive, but surviving feels like suffering. It's a little funny, when my $300 on yay casino went down to about $250 I got a call from a Florida Blue Mental Health rep to check on me. She asked if I've had thoughts of su1cide since discharge from the mental hospital, I loosely lied and said "not really". We answered more questions and we ended the phone call with thank you and have a good day, something polite like that. I might be depressed, but on the bright side, I got another new OF subscriber just now, yay. Also, I brought my brother's medicine at CVS, so that was pretty cool. Thanks for reading.