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Grief Counselor

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So earlier today, my big brother and younger siblings met with my farther again, this was the 3rd day that we saw him.  Later, the rest of my siblings and I spoke with a grief counselor about mother's passing.  I told the counselor about how I predict people's deaths, and my guilt associated with it because I'm not able to prevent their deaths. She told me "That's called premonition, and that having premonitions isn't a bad thing, you know what we call people with premonitions? A profit.". I then felt a special spark in my stomach. I also shared my dream I had earlier today when Mommy was driving home, but then she told me to drive. I didn't know how to drive, yet she insisted. To me that was probably her way of telling me that it's my turn to take the driver's seat in life. The counselor agreed that that's a message, so that made me feel pretty confident in my connection with Mommy spiritually. The counselor also let us know that my mom tr...

9:19am I shaved like every area of me

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I shaved like every area of me today, yay! I shaved my face, torso, back, butt, kinda the vagina, groin, arms and legs. And then I put on a beautiful bodysuit! I feel like a sxy bea-ich ♥︎ Thanks for reading!

I'm such a mess, I just lost $40

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I saw that I was eligible for a $40 loan on Chime so I thought of doubling it to pay back the loan and keep a free $40. I ended up losing badly. I feel so disgusted. I brought $30 on Spindo for $50, lost that. $9.99 on Yay Casino for $12, lost that as well and now my lone is gone and I feel even more depressed.

I fell while fallen asleep

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6:40am, I was dreaming in my gaming chair about slots losing and losing at lifing and me going into goth isolation or something and people bullying and hating while I find out thst I don't have to show them anything I'm losing, or how much more goth I'm becoming, or something like that. Then when I try to get away in my dream, I lean too much in real life and fall over in my gaming chair. My nose, spine, everything is hurting, but not as much as my mental pain right now. Depression really does hurt.

Back home x Lost $180

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On the drive back home from the Mental Hospital in the Z cab, I played some casino sites while chatting with the cab guy. I had like $50 something in my Golden Hearts Games account that was probably finally granted to me while I was at the Mental Hospital after I completed a RevU offer like a month ago and had to go through support multiple times to get my offer to credit. Anyway, I turn that $50 into about $80. Then arrive back home.  I see that Yay Casino has an offer for $100 for $50, so I use like all my PayPal and Charles Schwab money to buy it. I waited and worked so hard for that momey. I lose it all down to $17, run it up to $80, then lose it all again. Then I go back to Golden Hearts, run the $80 down to $60 and below, then up to $100, then down to $40, then $105, and finally $160 after very long hours. Then while preparing to go to sleep in my gaming chair I decide to do some fun free play on Pulz, run a dollar up to $8, then lost it, so close to withdrawing a...

I was released from the Mental Hospital

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I was finally released from the Mental Hospital, today, yay! Photo taken at 1:51pm. After and Before My awesome pen tattoo I made today below:

Jacksonville 10:44am

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After sleeping the night, waking up, and having black coffee, a bit of turkey swiss sandwich and apple slices. I was sent on my way to Jacksonville Mental Hospital via ambulance. Before then I saw the sun, I thought I'd never see the morning again after my passed. I had an emotional conversation over the phone with my brother and other siblings. They love, and I love them.