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Hospital Visit

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Today 4/8/2026, (well yesterday now) My siblings and I visted our mom in the hospital again. She finally accepted the blood transfusion, which was very helpful to my mental health, because the thought of her dying like that in the hospital was making me very su1cidal. I even briefly spoke to my therapist about my mom's situation and my su1cidal ideation. I felt so guilty that Mommy was sick in the hospital. I felt like if I had more money she wouldn't be in that situation. I even talked about how I was tempted to stab a pencil into my neck. [ Ironically I did accidentally cut myself while shaving my groin area in the shower before my therapy session. I wasn't sure if I was going to go to the mental hospital or not, so I made sure to shave my underarms, vag and bikini area. I ended up getting like 3 small cuts above my bikini area, due to the dollar store razor, unfortunately.] My therapist, she gave me helpful advice like going outside for a walk outside, watching videos, j...
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Stressful stuff, eating problems, image problems, HRT and I won $53.22

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10:38am, I won $53.22 on Fortune Coins off of the free $2.90 something I had collected, so that was pretty cool. I'm going to need it because I just put in an order to have my HRT transfered to a closer Publix and to have a refill as well, earlier today. The rep lady, she was so nice and patient with me, bless her heart. It all started with the Hacksaw gaming butterfly game. I got 3x butterfly scatters of a $0.10 cent spin, so that gave me $51 dollars, so I guess it was about 510x something multipler. Before I got the third butterfly symbol, I thought to myself, "one more for Mommy", and then I got the symbol, so that was beautiful. It's also 8th of April, the anniversary of my 2nd Mental Hospital admission last year, so it must be a sign of good healing to come. After playing some Western game called Bonus Hunter, I then went on to play a more femme game again called "Cloud Princess" that's whe...
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2:07am My Mommy is dying

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My mom doesn't want to take her life saving blood transfusion. The hospital can't force her and my siblings and I are saddened by her decision. My siblings begged her on the phone to take the medicine. Her response was "I love you". They repeated the same sentiment. I too, said "Love you". Like minutes earlier, my eyes were like so wet while I was lying down in bed hearing my siblings cry and stuff so I got up. I'm like so shaken while writing this.
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Hospital visit

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Tonight, my siblings and I dropped off my 2nd eldest sis then visited our mom at the ICU. My mom is doing significantly better since our last visit about 2 days ago when she was still on the ventilator. She's off the ventilator now and is able to speak subtlety. I held her hand and let her know that I loved her, and that she'll recover soon. Since only 2 people were allowed at once, I had to go into another room with my 3 other siblings. The nurse asked if we wanted anything to drink. I was like, do you have coffee? She affirmed me that there was coffee so I accepted. I eventually go back to my mom's room with my eldest sister. I had the look of concern and guilt in my eyes looking at my mom. She looked so ill, and I felt so responsible. She quietly spoke something. I came closer and she reiterated "It's okay, Alan". I felt relived, I felt peace. It felt so beautiful to hear her speak my name again. A little later, before we left I held her hand and told her t...
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I won $103 + Washer repair

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I won $103 off of $10 free monthly bonus at Crowncoins, which was pretty slay.  I was playing the website casino it via my phone S24FE Edge browser while being a passenger in the car. When I arrived back home, I began to repair the broken washer machine latch. It didn't close after I placed in the latch and spring. My 2nd youngest sis suggested that I try the other way, so then I flipped the latch around and that did the trick. I then added the screws and door frame back in place and tested the unit. It seemed to work well. My sis and I, we thanked each other for the repair. Thanks for reading! After the washer was repaired. I went to turn off the lamp in my room and the twist knob feel off, so then I had to screw that back on, lol. Thanks again for reading!
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4:07pm, I Won $200.46

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This was hella risky. I took the last $100 in my account to double it to $200, and it worked surprisingly this time, thank goodness, because I made that money from OnlyPlans and X vids and stuff and waited super long for that momey to even show up in my account. So basically, Yay Casino had a $200 for $99.99 deal, so I hopped on it using my zexy money that finally arrived today, the missing $80 that is. I had $20 in my bank already. So there was $20.02 left in my bank after I ordered instant Coffee Stickd and Apple Jacks earlier. And once the $80 hit my account, the $80 I waited a really long time for, my account reached $100.02 and then I pounced on the offer. It was definitely a gamble, though. I nearly loss a lot of it, many times. But I'm happy I pulled through. Also, my 2nd youngest sis brought me over the package I was waiting for. It was a new part for the washing machine. And it had my alias name "Alana" on the Amazon poly baggie. That LG washer machine door latch...
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Moved back to old room

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Thanks to my 2nd younger sis and I, we moved out a lot of the old debris and bags from my room now that the roof has been repaired, and I soon moved back in with my laptop and stuff, yay! I then took a shower. After the bath, I powered on my laptop and stuff. And then did my makeup. My sis noticed my outfit and asked, "is that a sailor outfit?" I replied, I'm glad you noticed (: Thanks for reading!
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