MintCoaTea

So my bro and I had to leave the hospital yesterday or so due to my 2nd eldest sis getting the backer act. She has since been transferred to Tampa. She's getting treatment, so that's good.  Thanks for reading!

So I recently sold my book Gothic Apocalypse on Amazon about a month ago and finally received the funds, they were less than I thought, I got like $2.70 from the $39 dollar book, so I later brought a box of M&Ms. Thank you for reading.

11:57am, I just noticed a god awful scar. I hate thise Venus razors, or maybe it was the dollar store or Walmart razors, I'm leaning venus.

My 2nd eldest sis is taking a nap. The doctors still need to do some tests and stuff. The time is now 1:11am. I think we've been here since like early 8pm, ah Advant, always the fastest in care, lol. Anyway, in all seriousness, I'm greatful for the doctors and I'm hopeful for my sister. I hope that she gets the help she needs for her Ana ED (eating disorder). I've faced similar in the past, it is hell, Ana slowly then rapidly destroys your mind and body, you could very easily d1e of starvation while surrounded by food. It's a nightmare. I hope she gets better ♡ Thanks for reading. 1:15am.

Hours earlier I received a $25 visa gift card from game beta testing. So then with that gift card I brought a $45 SC pack from Winbonanza for about $19.98, and I brought chocolate chip cookies and a crow necklace from Amazon with most of the remaining $5.02. I then played the $45 down to like $20 something, then up to $69, then $77. Then at Jackpota, I played free play with the free daily SC, turning $1 something into like $14, then $12 redeemed a Starbucks Gift Card, canceled it to make morr money, then I worked the $12 up t0 $62, then gradually lost it all the way back down to $11. I felt bad, so then I played with my $77 balance on Winbonanza, till I got up to $118, then down to $60 and $70 something, then up to $114, then all the way up to $226.39. My eyes hurt from all the screen time, but it's my hustle to pay the bills. I got a $50 insurance payment due on May 1st, not to mention my $100s worth of other bills. $5 I also got from doing Swagbucks feminine survey earlier today,...

April 28th, late night 2026. My 2nd eldest sister was admitted to the hospital today under the guidance of my 2nd youngest sister and me, because my elder sis looked too skinny and she was acting kinda funny. My big bro drove my older sis and I to the hospital. I went into the hospital room with my sis. The doctors are going to run some tests.

I was about 2ft heigh, fantasizing about jumping from a higher height,  then I saw some beautiful flowers that distracted me, so then I came down, although at the price of a sore back. Then I investigated the flowers.  My brother was on the phone with my Mother's half-sister, my Aunt that took away my knife two weeks ago.  My aunt on the phone asked about how I was feeling and stuff and asked if I was still blaming myself.  I was like sometimes I do blame myself, sometimes I don't. She's like, that's good as long as you don't blame yourself more than you do. I also told her about how I was depressed but then flowers distracted me. She said that it was a sign. She asked what I've been doing lately. I told her that I've been doing some projects and surveys. She also asked if I've been doing gardening, so then I thought that was a good idea, and I think that's when I mentioned the flowers I saw. Thanks for reading.

As time has passed, my Mother's passing hasn't gotten better. I had a dream of a digital artwork file I've made for my video game Navigate Nudibranch, I thought that Mommy can see it, but in the dream I realized that she can't see it. I woke up and went to sleep several more times, because sleeping is the closest thing to dying, it is better than staying awake in intense physical and mental pain.  I had like 3 more additional dreams, and I remembered that artwork file each time. There's so many things that I haven't been able to tell and show my Mom, and it sickens me.  I want revenge on God, I want to harness the power of evil and destroy this awful world. Or on the flip side, I can fulfill my dreams and work towards better in the world. Gosh, I feel so robbed of time with my Mommy by spending so much time fixated on trying to earn money for the family this life is just so joky I think I want to get myself killy. Oh and by the way, on my awakening, ...

Late night April 27th, So I did some digging tonight and figured that my Mom most likely passed away due to the chemotherapy drugs, because she was doing relatively well before she started the chemo, after the chemo she rapidly declined, unfortunately. My brother was on the phone with my Mom's friend Sharon, and my bro gave his phone to me so I can speak with her. We talk and she gives me perspective that everything happens for a reason so if I go it could prevent something important from happening. Her stories and motivation were beautiful, I thanked her. She also gave me a virtual hug and my brother gave me a physical hug, that was so touching. Thank you everyone ♡

With a dime and four quarters, I brought pink razors. Thankz four reading.

My 2nd youngest sis and my 2nd eldest sis and I were outside. My 2nd eldest sis was near the lake so my younger sis and I followed her. And my elder sis went back inside the house and me and my younger sis explored the receding lake. There was a lot of sandy patches and seashell fossils that I couldn't stop exploring. Jokingly I took a selfie and I was like "famous last photo", then I explored some rocks and fossils but then the sand was softer than I thought, so yeah my foot sunk into the ground. My sis and I laughed about it. I took my sister's suggestion of washing off my shoe. I later changed into a tight black dress and a black long sleeve Lacoste shirt. I then thought about what my Mom told me a month ago, she informed me about unisex Lacoste clothes, so that was pretty sweet of her.  We'd sometimes talk about unisex Lacoste clothes, and those conversations I now cherish even more. Maybe, I will make it in the modeling and fashion industry, make Mommy's ...

I was out with my youngest sibling outside, and then I went into the car to retrieve my phone charger, to which I then accidentally hit my head very hard against the roof of the car, that was like 2 hours ago but it still hurts like hell. I also hurt the front of my head 2 times when my gaming chair swung into the desk twice two days ago or so. Also, this life has been hell since I lost my Mommy. I had been thinking real hard about strangling myself or something last night while under my green blanket on my gaming chair. But then my youngest sibling opened the door and apologized and asked if I was sleeping. I was like, no, thanks. Anyway, I then chat with some Instagram friend about my depression and stuff that was helpful. What got me going with my depressive and suicidal feelings was reading back on older blog posts of when my mom was still at the hospital, and how I felt that I was ruining my family. It hit me how true it was, I am ruining my family, so then I felt like...

On my way back from the McDonaldz restroom and picking up straws for my big bro and 2nd eldest sis, I heard chatter from a McDonaldz employee. I kept walking I didn't realize that they were talking to me till I was already out the building. I saw that they rushed to the window and began waving, so I smiled and waved back. I think they mentioned my username, like "Hey AlnaMecha, oh she's still walking". That was pretty awesome for her to recognize me. I honestly tried to get out of that McDonaldz as quickly as possible so I don't run into the mean manager that called me angry on the phone that one day, but in the end it looks like I just got the attention of a curious fan, friend. Thanks for reading! Also, I got cookies x cream Hershey at Walmart b4 the McDonald's trip,  it tasted good, but it mad my throat itchy a bit as always.  Anyways, thanks again for reading.

I had a dream of my Mom earlier today, she was alive. Also, I think in my dream I opened up my bedroom drawers. I was recently thinking about my drawers in my room, how my room felt so different without my Mom, then moments later a rainbow appeared on my drawer, the lower drawer level which was specifically mines (the upper drawer was my brother's). Thanks Mommy.

I won and lost $182 within 8 hours. I feel like ending my self even more now. Yes, I was correct, God always let's me down. I worked up my $1 free play in LoneStarCasino to $105.89, lost the $5.89, no problem, withdrew again at $100. Wanted something to do again in the meantime so I played at SpinPals, worked the free play up all the way to like $77+ but lost it all when trying to reach the withdrawal minimum of $100. I felt awful, I wanted to win it back so I canceled my LoneStarCasino redemption winnings of $100, and watched in horror as my balance shrunk to nothing. Now I feel like ending my life even more. Please call 988 if you feel similar. Thank you. In other news, I brought 2 bars of $1.50 dove soap and a turkey pan and chicken drumsticks with my last $15 dollars or so, earlier today, now I'm like broke again. It's funny, you go from wealthy-ish, to broke and suicidal-ish so quickly in this worl...