mid 2pm bathroom discrimination

"This is the Women's Restroom, love, sorry". The curly haired lady told me.

I quietly replied with "I am", 

then used the bathroom stall.

[I tend to stand up for myself more, because I can't stand bully authority anymore].

After I got out, I washed my hands and waited for my youngest sibling to finish washing her hands so we can leave because people were being kinda mean and I didn't want to leave her there.

Another lady in the bathroom hallway, a janitor this time, was staring at me and yelled, "Hey! Follow!"

My sibling finished so then we left.

It's a little funny, before entering the restroom I was just talking with my 2nd youngest sister about me considering getting my hair done to look more professional, but the hair straighting was $300 here. We both laughed and entered the bathroom.

She stood there, and so did I. I was wondering which stall she wanted to use so I asked, "which stall should I use?"

Then a curly haired lady announced something like:

"This is the women's, love. Sorry".

Shaken by her discrimination, I replied "I am". 

Then I used a small stall.

A lot of things rolled through my mind, thoughts of how I thought I was beginning to look more feminine, but I guess I was incorrect. I wondered about improvements. I was also concerned about getting into a further altercation.

I swore that I've heard commotion and someone saying man, and I've heard a lot of back and forth.

This made me even more anxious, but I always try to stand my ground and make my case. Like I was thinking earlier, I'm not a perfect human, but I still deserve respect like a perfect human.

My urinary anatomy was at least female, but my face still needs more work.

Ugh, I hate when people are so mean to me.

Anyway, By the time I was done, my 2nd youngest sister was already outside.

My youngest was now in the room and we washed our hands.

I waited for my sibling to finish.

There was a janitor lady watching us.

She yelled, "Hey! Follow!".

So then my sibling and I left.

You know after that I feel less inclined to buy stuff at the Paddock Market, far less get my hair done here.

I was pretty happy here, things were looking up this week, I was fortunate to make more money, I've done interviews, I've maintained looking cute as heck, and the electricity is allegedly being restored tomorrow.

I felt so confident that I've been researching bo-ho braids because I thought I'd look so cute with those or at least some hair straightening.

But no, some good-ole discrimination always has to put me in a bitter mood and put me back into thoughts of giving up and going into extinction. [Call 988 if you are going through similar thoughts. Stay safe].

Anyway, discrimination and harassment is why I always try to keep close to my guard.

I just paid for my HRT earlier today, too. 

And earlier I've had thoughts of me not needing breazt augmentation surgery and additional face surgery, 

but you know what I need the whole package if I'm ever going to be appreciated by strangers and live more comfortably in society. I can't stand looking and feeling like a monster everyday, it's unbearable and everyday I try to do something about it.

But till then, I still look cute in my own way and I've spent way too much time and money on my transition to be treated like a freak agorgeous.

Forget this discrimination, I might be a freak alien but at least I'm out of this world freaky gorg! And you know what? Maybe I will get my hair done to finally look more professional and lock-in that pretty girl look.

Thx 4 reading!