Lost like $25 today

I freaking hate this. I got $15 for free today via pulz and redeemed a Starbucks card, but then canceled that withdrawal in an attempt to make more money to pay for my insurance or something, but then I lost it all.


Then I tried to buy $9.99 pack for $20 in tokens from Kickr, but my card kept declining then my tooth feel out.

So then I brought a $10.49 pack from McLuck for $12 in tokens, worked that up to $21, then lost it all.
[$0.09 cents left, freaking joke].

This really hurts because I've spent hours of work doing surveys and stuff to even make $10 dollars in the first place. I also received a missed call from Florida Blue, I called them back, nothing, they hung up. I hate this. 

I literally have nothing left on my card now!
[I had $10.60 half an hour ago which took me forever to get, I worked so hard for that crap, & now it is bloody $0.00! I'll be paid my due in bloody due time, I'll to the freaking Xtreme!].


I just wanted to pay for my insurance. I hate being unemployed and jobless and gambling out of desperation and selling my body and stuff just to lose all my money again. I hate this so much!!!!!

At least my $82 came today from doing Sportzino the other day, but then Chime took like $19.99 from spot me and the rest went to groceries, which I'm grateful for. I'm grateful for the groceries, but loosing the $10 I worked so hard for to greedy gambling companies has got me feeling suicidal. What the, what's making me want to kill myself over $10.60? It's because I worked bloody hard for that 10 dollars and I wasn't able to 10x it to $100 to pay for my health insurance which is due November 1st, so that's got me feeling all suicidal.

I think I'm going to have to extend the payment due date for the insurance somehow, maybe to November 15th, if I can. I hate myself.

If y'all are feeling similarly, please call 988. 

Thanks, and stay safe.

#TransGirl #Gambling #LonelyLife #Vengance

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