Life falling apart

8:23pm right now.

I'm in so much mental pain and deposit because I can't get my Lenovo Legion Laptop to boot back on, I've tried everything.

Earlier today our neighbor gave us his extension cord so that way we can use his power as a temporary solution to our electrically problem.

I had a job interview over the phone which went okay, could of been better.

Later, we went on a trip, dropped off my eldest sis at her job on boarding and picked up Daddy at his hotel where he was residing and we dropped him off at his job interview at the aircraft carrier.

I brought my laptop with me for once, I haven't in a few days, I brought it just in case there was a survey that I needed to attend.

My Laptop got bounced around in the car a lot and I constantly had to secure it.

I ended up not even using my laptop on the trip in the end, and I couldn't of either because I forgot the charger.

When we finally got back home tonight,

I plugged it in, went to use the restroom and I come back to it extremely hot and not booting.

I'm sad, so sad. I feel like dying.

Please call 988 if you feel similarly.

It's funny, I was talking with my 2nd youngest sister about how Daddy would say "let me see something"

Then use the computer to check his program.

We'll be constantly thinking of the safety of our drawing, like did it get saved?

Then the thought came to me of how I ironically accidentally deleted the whole hard drive of said shared laptop one time and lost everything.

That was a depressing time for me, especially how my family's things were on that hard drive as well.

Now, I feel like it's happening again. I think I may of lost even more this time, it's not like 500GB lost last time, I think I lost lost 4x that amount, like 2TB.

I feel like my life is over.

I waited all week to use my laptop again to get some work done and now it is dead.

My world definitely feels over. And it's a shame, I was feeling so optimistic this week as well.

Also, that survey I brought the laptop over for just in case, I think it wasn't even a live survey I can take my time with it over 3 weeks. I don't even need to use a laptop.

Why did I out 11:15am Survey on my calendar? Maybe it was another one that got cancled?

Either way, my 3 year old laptop died for nothing. I feel like going with it.

Just when things were getting better, something happens to make things worse.

It's funny that I might end up in the mental hospital again, because earlier today I was drinking black coffee with one sugar while browsing Walmart and I thought about how it is SMA Gourmet. (Since I would drink black coffee at the SMA mental hospital). 

Then later on when I was exiting Walmart the radio played "I've been waiting all my life and now I found you, I don't know what to do, I think I'm falling for you."

That was the same song it played at my stay last year at the mental hospital in some romantic drama movie.

That was interesting, so I began singing to it

Then later today I was drinking black coffee again, this time with no sugar because I had a vanilla frosty.

I boot up my laptop and, no life.

Then my heart broke and I drank my melted frosty in pain. 

I feel like dying.

Thanks for reading.

8:50pm.

8:53pm.

9:42pm Update.

I was playing on Moonspin with free coinage and I manged to turn $1.12 into $72 something but lost it all down to $0.07 trying to reach $100 for the minimum redemption.

This sux, I really hoped to get that redemption for tomorrow, it could of been very helpful.

I hate it when I reach a high number only to lose it all when you're so close to the redemption minimum.

This life is just getting worse and worse.

It's so sickening.

You get hope that's glimmering only for it to start perpetually keep fading.

Thanks again for reading.

9:45pm.

9:46pm.