7:08pm I lost $309.20
I lost my entire $309.20 withdrawal from Chumba, I feel so numb. Nothing makes sense anymore.
My loss chasing is insane, all of this over losing $38 ):
I canceled my chumba withdrawal and redeemed like $285
Then played with that amount in gravity roulette, lost it.
Tried again, and made like $90 something, I could of cashed that out and had like $340 something to redeem, but I tried to make more for all the upcoming expenses.
I lost the $90 something.
I cancled my $250 withdrawal and went on a downward spiral of losing.
My lowest point was the low $150s-$120s, the place of no return. Just straight losses after that.
Now I just have a clean $0.00 balance on Chumba casino. I'm so sick with myself right now. All I wanted to do was make more money to get tickets and merch for the upcoming supercon convention, but I ruined it all and now my phone service will deactivate on top of that.
I hate gambling when sleep deprived, I'm just so zombie like and mindless. I hate this!!!
7:34pm, the adrenaline is going away, and the pain and depression of my situation is fading in. I feel like cruel, heartless monster. I only tried to make things better, but I've made things much worse.
My ears are beginning to ring right now. 7:36pm.
This is pure hell. I feel like I can't go on.
Please call 988 if you feel depressed.
Below is my redemption cancelation confirmations.
I'll take a little bit from my $300, then redeem again, then a little more, then a bit more, till I lost it all.
I feel so, so horrible!
It was going so well with my earnings, redemptions and winnings, until I realized that I needed to make more money to pay off everything for the trip to Miami and to pay off my personal bills, so then I tried to make more money but then I failed miserably.
You know, at 7:39pm, I felt like writing something like "Gosh, I should just kill myself"
But then at 7:40pm, my bedroom door opened up, it was my 2nd youngest sister checking on me.
So then I asked her, "are you okay?"
I think she hummed.
Anyway, maybe I can make a turnaround for the better, hopefully.
It's ironic how everytime I watch anti-gambling videos this type of loss stuff happens to me.
Also, the gravity roulette host lady told us that 99% of players quit before the big win.
I aknowledged that and kept going, until I eventually lost everything.
Thanks for reading.
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