Depression Session

I had a conversation with my mom just now so profound that I  no longer felt like ordering bandages for myself for a potential future inquiry.

Later in the conversation she was saying that there's probably some things y'all can't tell me until this whole thing (the divorce) is over.

I was like, yeah, it's not good, [after I explained that there's stuff I still haven't told her,].


She was like, I know some things were probably done for survival and I'm sorry that y'al had to experience that.

But, you are not ab mm (I stopped  writing at this point cause I fell asleep with my phone light on, which scared my brother later on, he screamed because he thought I stopped breathing. I reassured him that I was okay and he explained what he thought happened. We then exchanged I love yous).

Anyway, back to the main story. My mom said to me a little before the am of 3, y'all had to experience stuff that put you into doing things for survival and I'm sorry that y'all had to experience that.

But you're not a bad person, Alan.

Her saying that to me ment so much because I thought that I was a bad person for years.

Also, my mom wanted me to research that MIT Graphics course some more that I talked about earlier to cheer me up, so I'll do that instead of researching darker stuff.

Anyway, it's been an emotional night/day. Thanks for reading. Thanks for everything.

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