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2:44am deep depression

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I was feeling happy and optimistic about the $164 I've accumulated. I put $97 into Modo Casino, redeemed $160 something via instant 10 minute withdrawal. I waited. I stayed in bed. I waited. I because more tired. I remembered the $20 for $40 SC deal at Yay Casino. I managed to get up to about $53 to redeem, but alas.. my linked bank was Chime, and redeeming $53 would just repay the negative balance. I needed to reach a higher amount, I tried and failed. I then put $40 into HardRockBet, made about 23 more, kept going, lost it all. Deposited my last $6 in PayPal, lost it. I then cancled my redemption at Modo, lost it all. Now I feel sick. Also, the redemption at Modo wasn't instant at all, it was still pending so I was able to cancel. I feel so depressed, I can't even buy a birthday cake for my eldest brother now, that's what I was making this money for, to have a good time with my family in the morning. Now, it's all gone and I feel su1cidal. Thanks for reading. Plea...

12:21am Activities

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So as a leap of faith, I put my last $5 into HardRockBet earlier and got $20, Then I $20 into HardRockBet, got it to $52, then put another $20 in, got it to $130+, kept $16, lost the $16. Now my account stands at $164. Not too bad starting off with a couple of hours $35 earlier. The $15 I got from a few UPS surveys I worked on hours earlier, I've been robbed of $5 dollars though because apparently that survey reached it's points limit, so $5 was deducted from my survey account, my gosh UPS, you're greedy. Anyway, thanks for reading!

6:04pm loss

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I got a $50 loan with a $2.99 express fee. I put $50 into HardRockBet, worked it up to $85, lost it all down to $8... ugh. HardRockBet had an offer of free $100 bonous if I place $2,000 worth of bets. None of the slots were low volatility enough to complete this feat. On my last $30 out of my $50 deposit, I felt a lot of pressure to win it back, especially since my Daddy mentioned that I might have to pay in the store since his card isn't working. His card had some issues after my Daddy paid for groceries at Walmart. I thanked him for that. As for my funds, I still have like $9 left in my PayPal, so that's enough for the store, maybe... Thanks for reading. Update: 6:19pm My Daddy insisted that he pays, so he tried his card and it worked, so I thanked him. Thanks for reading! Also, I saw this makeup pallet by the three musketeers, so cute. Update: 7:09pm I put $5 into HardRockBet and made about $0.90 something profit. I put $5 again, lost it.....

Nice Classic Outfit

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My Daddy told me, "That's a nice classic outfit" I was like, oh, what was that? So he repeats. I was like, oh me? He was like, yes, is it new? I was like, yes, kinda (: That's so awesome and sweet that he complimented my outfit. It was especially sweet since I was listening to Suddenly Seymour. Anyway, a little after that, my eldest brother wanted to know where to sit in the car, so I said "you can sit there, baby". My 2nd youngest sis and Daddy laughed, my Daddy was like, "that was the hips talking" (: I was like, lol. Thanks for reading! 5:02pm.

12:39am reflection

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I wrote this for $5 dollars for a study. Since I'm the only one in my own company I don't really have employees, I am however an employee of a part-time job. Being a part-time employee of a larger, more successful company than mines is kind of soul crushing. I was supposed to be more successful by this age. It is so frustrating being in your mid-20s and not being the super rich, super successful person you'd thought you'd be by now. I just feel like a failure, and even with a therapist it is difficult to get ahead in life. I don't get ahead very well, I'm always behind, always struggling, and it is absolutely depressing to be honest. It's been this way for the longest time and I just can't figure out how to get out of this curse.

10:57pm Purse fix x bowl shatter

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So I temporary fixed my purse strap, however later on after getting out of the car to shop at Walmart I forgot about the pink bowl beneath the car seat and it shattered to the ground. I brought my dinner into the car to eat dinner on the way to FedEx with my eldest brother and 2nd youngest sis to pick up my 2nd eldest sister. I was quite shocked when the bowl shattered. That was very sad because it was my Mommy's pink bowl, she used to eat from it before she passed. I felt very bad afterwards. Especially since I just finished playing a slot game before it happened, it was on BUX777, I did a $1,800 bet, won $168.30, Life and Death by Hacksaw Gaming, I used a demo account. I feel like a horrible person because these evil games have lead to horrible things that I've never intended to happen. I was in utter shock after that bowl shattered on the pavement. My 2nd youngest sis told me that it was okay and she informed me that I csn throw it away at Walmart so I don't get cut. So ...

8:14pm Bag Breakage

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A few minutes ago I ran outside to check the mail and my temu bag strap finally broke away, like no way! Thanks for reading!