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I went on TikTok Live for over 2 hours!

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I went on TikTok live for over two hours! Amassing over 4K viewers and over 2200 diamonds which accounted to about $22, which was about $8.55 after TikTok took their 60% share ): But, the show was so much fun!!!! I sang and danced a lot, and I put in my key key clip after singing happy day in hell and someone liked that song so I showed them my key key clip, which I haven't worn in a while, so it was good to wear it again, I always like a Hazbins Hotel fan. I also sang some of my original songs and stuff, it was so fun! Someone wanted me to sing cybernetic chick's, so I sang a bit of it ♡ Always towards the end of my live, I was like, darkness abound. Anyway, it's 11:56pm, time to call it a day. Thanks for reading! Sincerly,  Alan the Streamer Goddess! Now it's 11:58pm, cool. Thanks again for reading!
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Ladiez

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I was in the women's restroom and the janitor guy and I crossed paths we said sorry to each other than I went to the stall. It played the song man eater on the speaker. His job wasn't done as yet, so he called out, "Any ladies in here?!" (2-3x). On the second time he said that, I was like, "yes be out soon!". It then played BTS smooth like butter. My Mom's favorite band. I exited the bathroom, no one was there. I then go to buy a Hershe bar, and the first coin I pulled out happened to be one of a lady. That's so cool, I think that Mommy is giving me girl confidence telepathically, thanks Mommy! ♡
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6:01pm I lost $120 down to $0.06

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I canceled my redemption of $120 something at Golden Heart Games after I recovered it yesterday by adding my $50 visa gift card to the $70 I had reduced my balance to. Anyway, about an hour or two ago I tried to grow my balance because I had so many thoughts of the money I lost and how much I had to pay in loans. Before I canceled my redemption I thought of that line from Doctor Who with the Cybus Industries "I'm telling you, Don't". But, I decided to risk it and I paid the price, now I need to come up with another $120+ something to pay off my loans. And there's still the storage, my 2nd eldest sis finally paid the 1 of 2 storage units yesterday, thankfully. I just wish that she agreed to pay earlier, then I wouldn't be in such a desperate situation of trying to make more money. I still blame myself though because I've ruined my family and I's life when trying to improve it. I should definitely kill myself, this is just pure torture. Please call 988 i...
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2:12pm I'm bad at applying eyedrops

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I suck at applying eyebrows, I haven't used Refresh like within a year. I actually scrapped my inner eye lid with my 2nd attempt. My 3rd-4th attempt were a total mess.
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5:15am I lost another $11

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I lost $11 more from my $81 balance on Golden Heart Games. I should just get some rest at this point. 
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4:59 I lost like $72 more

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On an attempt to re-earn my earnings, I canceled my $153 or $152 redemption on Golden Heart Games and I lost it all down to like $80, kill me. I guess I've lost $170 because I decided to try and make more money, it didn't work out in my favor and I hate myself for that. [If you feel suicidal, please call 988]. I still have like $140 in loans to pay back this week. I'm so devastated. Thank you for reading. 5:03am now, I should really get some rest.
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I lost $20 more at around 4:34am

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I hate myself. I lost $20 more dollars at GlobalPoker.
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