Posts

May 26th 2026

Image
May 26th 2026 was supposed to be my last day if the storage wasn't paid for, but fortunately yesterday my brother notified me that my uncle's wife helped us with it. So then I thanked him. That was quite a relief yesterday, because the storage would of went to auction today if not paid for and it would have been all my fault and I wouldn't be able to live with that guilt, so I planned on taking oxytocin in the morning and writing a note, and going outside and locking the door and placing the keys somewhere outside with their location described in the note and then disappearing somewhere far away never to return, never again to live another day. May 26th, dead at 26, dead 19 days after my birthday. I thought that'll be perfect. But, it's now 12am May 27th, so I lived through it. Today was pretty enjoyable, and I'm glad I lived it. I went on a little adventure to look for my 2nd eldest sis. I figured she went to the gas station convince store, so I headed out ther...

I had x over cam

Image
I had x over cam just now with a returning subscriber. He wanted to do it over Insta, but I was afraid of a ban, so we agreed to it over OF live, pretty much the first time I've done a successful OF live. It was f-ing fun!  I ended the live at around 2:10pm, it lasted about 20 minutes. He tipped $20, the profit was $16 since OF took $4. But, it's still some money. Thx for reading!

I went on TikTok Live for over 2 hours!

Image
I went on TikTok live for over two hours! Amassing over 4K viewers and over 2200 diamonds which accounted to about $22, which was about $8.55 after TikTok took their 60% share ): But, the show was so much fun!!!! I sang and danced a lot, and I put in my key key clip after singing happy day in hell and someone liked that song so I showed them my key key clip, which I haven't worn in a while, so it was good to wear it again, I always like a Hazbins Hotel fan. I also sang some of my original songs and stuff, it was so fun! Someone wanted me to sing cybernetic chick's, so I sang a bit of it ♡ Always towards the end of my live, I was like, darkness abound. Anyway, it's 11:56pm, time to call it a day. Thanks for reading! Sincerly,  Alan the Streamer Goddess! Now it's 11:58pm, cool. Thanks again for reading!

Ladiez

Image
I was in the women's restroom and the janitor guy and I crossed paths we said sorry to each other than I went to the stall. It played the song man eater on the speaker. His job wasn't done as yet, so he called out, "Any ladies in here?!" (2-3x). On the second time he said that, I was like, "yes be out soon!". It then played BTS smooth like butter. My Mom's favorite band. I exited the bathroom, no one was there. I then go to buy a Hershe bar, and the first coin I pulled out happened to be one of a lady. That's so cool, I think that Mommy is giving me girl confidence telepathically, thanks Mommy! ♡

6:01pm I lost $120 down to $0.06

Image
I canceled my redemption of $120 something at Golden Heart Games after I recovered it yesterday by adding my $50 visa gift card to the $70 I had reduced my balance to. Anyway, about an hour or two ago I tried to grow my balance because I had so many thoughts of the money I lost and how much I had to pay in loans. Before I canceled my redemption I thought of that line from Doctor Who with the Cybus Industries "I'm telling you, Don't". But, I decided to risk it and I paid the price, now I need to come up with another $120+ something to pay off my loans. And there's still the storage, my 2nd eldest sis finally paid the 1 of 2 storage units yesterday, thankfully. I just wish that she agreed to pay earlier, then I wouldn't be in such a desperate situation of trying to make more money. I still blame myself though because I've ruined my family and I's life when trying to improve it. I should definitely kill myself, this is just pure torture. Please call 988 i...

2:12pm I'm bad at applying eyedrops

Image
I suck at applying eyebrows, I haven't used Refresh like within a year. I actually scrapped my inner eye lid with my 2nd attempt. My 3rd-4th attempt were a total mess.

5:15am I lost another $11

Image
I lost $11 more from my $81 balance on Golden Heart Games. I should just get some rest at this point.