MintCoaTea

My big brother reminded me that I wanted to buy Milk at Publix, so I thanked him and we headed out. My 2nd youngest sister called in to let me know that my youngest sib wanted watermelon. I think I heard my youngest sib want jellybeans, so my 2nd youngest sister said, oh she brought some earlier. It's always awesome when my siblings use she/her pronouns on me. At the store in addition to the milk, I brought some watermelon and orange juice as well as requested by my siblings. You know what, a store Clerk ask me if I was paying with cash, so I nodded yes. He then tells the store lady, "She's paying with cash" I'll need some change, or something like that. I felt so happy that the clerk saw me as a she, it was totally worth losing my $228 in winnings earlier tonight, because if not for that, that moment probably wouldn't have happened. You know, that's like what I was telling my therapist earlier. It saddens me when I'm misgendered. So when people see as...

I spoke with my therapist about how I'm ahead, but then slip back, so many times that I've come to the conclusion many times that I'm actually in hell.  Anway, about 10 minutes before six I was finished speaking with my therapist because I had to cut our conversation short and reschedule for next week because I had to head out with my eldest brother and 2nd eldest sis. I used the $33 in GrubHub to get us Wendy's and stuff. Then I transferred $24 something to the black card so my brother can pay for the gas. I felt pretty optimistic about today, things were looking up. Then we dropped off my 2nd eldest sis at her workplace. I had so many thoughts in my head about money and expenses, so then I cancled my $195 redemption at CardCrush in hopes of making more money because the bills and expenses were pilling up so much and I still owed many bills. I ended up turning my $195 into $228 with Gravity Roulette. I knew I had to withdraw at least $200, but I thought tha...

I went shopping at Walmart this afternoon, it was pretty fun. I dressed all goth. I walked around the sections for a bit because I was buying time editing and uploading my TikTok video regarding how I'm still a Bad Glitch regardless of me being born a woman or not, Glitch; https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTU9XcbY4/ Later, I was also singing some K-Pop Demon Hunters verse "Called a problem child cause I got too wild, but now that's how I'm getting paid". Then after that a Walmart lady stopped me to ask if I was okay. I was like, yes I'm just looking for the bread. Thanks for asking (: I eventually found the bread section and I soon completed my purchases. Also, the $50 I received from that survey earlier came in handy for this shopping journey. Speaking of money, earlier today I also received the $147 from that casino site, I then put $100 of it into another casino site (CardCrush) and lose pretty bad and won pretty bad....

I was watching YouTube on TV with my younger siblings, and my youngest played a TLC YouTube video of I am Jazz with the Facebook Live stream clip.  I was like, wait I need to get my phone I haven't seen this one before. Then when I returned, my sib was like, have you seen this one? And it was one with a car wash to raise money for hormones. I was like, I haven't seen this one before. Then they got $50, then I looked at my phone and I too received $50. That was so funny. I told my siblings, and they laughed. My 2nd youngest was like, did it transfer to you? I was like, yes (: The show reminded me to take my hormones and stuff. I haven't seen I am Jazz on the TV for a while, so it was cool to see that show again, even if it was just a clip. We watched some more videos, like the music video, "All the things you said running through my head". I thanked them for the videos. Anyway, thanks for reading!

Today at work was pretty short, just 3 hours. I've been listening to 9/11 stories earlier today and they made me emotional. My workplace also had some 9/11 tributes, so that was inspiring. Also, I received an email from LoneStarCasino telling me that they couldn't give me 700 SC back, but they boosted my account. They referred to me as 'brother' I thanked them,  and let them know that it's 'sister. I saw that 150 SC was added to my account, so I played through it in order to withdraw it. I lost badly, then got up to $190s eventually. Then $170s, $70s, $50s, $20s. I was eventually down to $9.11,  and it was 6:11pm. This to me was a sign that today is a day to be honored and respected. And as if someone was talking to me, I opened up Live Roulette again with my last  $9 SC. Then I saw the number I was thinking of, 6. It just won without me. I try 6 again and lose. Something told me to put  most of my coins on number ...

I took out like $125+ in loans tonight to chsee my losses. I brought a $85 pack at Modo Casino valued at $100. I played it up to $130 something then ended up at $0.29. But, I also brought toilet paper, paper towels, Styrofoam cups and chocolate tonight. Thanks for reading. Update: 9:55pm I put another $20 of my loan money into Chumba Casino and I lost brutally to Gravity Roulette. I feel so defeated, truly. I was ahead yesterday by like $1K, but now I'm deeper into debt. This hurts my heart. I'm starting to get PTSD now from certain numbers, numbers that the roulette chose instead of the numbers that I choose. I guess that's how it goes. My sorrows, my money woes, my sorrows.