MintCoaTea

Late night April 27th, So I did some digging tonight and figured that my Mom most likely passed away due to the chemotherapy drugs, because she was doing relatively well before she started the chemo, after the chemo she rapidly declined, unfortunately. My brother was on the phone with my Mom's friend Sharon, and my bro gave his phone to me so I can speak with her. We talk and she gives me perspective that everything happens for a reason so if I go it could prevent something important from happening. Her stories and motivation were beautiful, I thanked her. She also gave me a virtual hug and my brother gave me a physical hug, that was so touching. Thank you everyone ♡

With a dime and four quarters, I brought pink razors. Thankz four reading.

My 2nd youngest sis and my 2nd eldest sis and I were outside. My 2nd eldest sis was near the lake so my younger sis and I followed her. And my elder sis went back inside the house and me and my younger sis explored the receding lake. There was a lot of sandy patches and seashell fossils that I couldn't stop exploring. Jokingly I took a selfie and I was like "famous last photo", then I explored some rocks and fossils but then the sand was softer than I thought, so yeah my foot sunk into the ground. My sis and I laughed about it. I took my sister's suggestion of washing off my shoe. I later changed into a tight black dress and a black long sleeve Lacoste shirt. I then thought about what my Mom told me a month ago, she informed me about unisex Lacoste clothes, so that was pretty sweet of her.  We'd sometimes talk about unisex Lacoste clothes, and those conversations I now cherish even more. Maybe, I will make it in the modeling and fashion industry, make Mommy's ...

I was out with my youngest sibling outside, and then I went into the car to retrieve my phone charger, to which I then accidentally hit my head very hard against the roof of the car, that was like 2 hours ago but it still hurts like hell. I also hurt the front of my head 2 times when my gaming chair swung into the desk twice two days ago or so. Also, this life has been hell since I lost my Mommy. I had been thinking real hard about strangling myself or something last night while under my green blanket on my gaming chair. But then my youngest sibling opened the door and apologized and asked if I was sleeping. I was like, no, thanks. Anyway, I then chat with some Instagram friend about my depression and stuff that was helpful. What got me going with my depressive and suicidal feelings was reading back on older blog posts of when my mom was still at the hospital, and how I felt that I was ruining my family. It hit me how true it was, I am ruining my family, so then I felt like...

On my way back from the McDonaldz restroom and picking up straws for my big bro and 2nd eldest sis, I heard chatter from a McDonaldz employee. I kept walking I didn't realize that they were talking to me till I was already out the building. I saw that they rushed to the window and began waving, so I smiled and waved back. I think they mentioned my username, like "Hey AlnaMecha, oh she's still walking". That was pretty awesome for her to recognize me. I honestly tried to get out of that McDonaldz as quickly as possible so I don't run into the mean manager that called me angry on the phone that one day, but in the end it looks like I just got the attention of a curious fan, friend. Thanks for reading! Also, I got cookies x cream Hershey at Walmart b4 the McDonald's trip,  it tasted good, but it mad my throat itchy a bit as always.  Anyways, thanks again for reading.

I had a dream of my Mom earlier today, she was alive. Also, I think in my dream I opened up my bedroom drawers. I was recently thinking about my drawers in my room, how my room felt so different without my Mom, then moments later a rainbow appeared on my drawer, the lower drawer level which was specifically mines (the upper drawer was my brother's). Thanks Mommy.