Company

My uncle and his wife came over by surprise today. They brought groceries with my two eldest siblings. 

While helping to unpack the groceries in their call. My uncle had a big box of maxi pads and told me to catch. 

I caught it. He said, nice catch.

Also, as I saw in the delivery photo, my TikTok sexy red pantyhose was delivered and handed off, however in the delivery proof photo I saw that it was handled off to my uncle in his call.

My Aunt and Uncle were talking with us siblings about a plan to send a Junk It Truck over to through away a lot of our stuff.

Also, I tried to get my Uncle's attention by mentioning that I had a package.

Then a few moments later my eldest sister hands me over the package that was handed to my Uncle earlier by the mail carrier.

My sister, I thank her.

Also, I was pretty sad at the thought of getting a lot of our stuff thrown away.

I appreciated my Aunt and Uncle's help with getting a truck soon and I thanked them for the groceries.

When they left I felt very ṣ̌uicidal.

I didn't want my Mom's stuff thrown away.

I felt sad, and I felt like non of this would be happening right now if it weren't for me.

Her death, her stuff getting thrown away, bad things happening, all my fault.

The guilt, it's so hard to live with, I struggle to live each day, so I basically don't live, I sit for hours depressed, just waiting for my day to end, waiting for my life to end, regretting everything I've may have done to cause her cancer, regretting the things I've haven't done.

Regretting the time I've wasted trying to earn money, time I could have spent with my Mommy. 

I'm so dead inside right now, 

a ghost in a shell.

Please call 988 if you're feeling depressed.

Thank you.

Love is eternal.

Little puff ball I found on the floor earlier. Just after I was thinking about my new phone, I thought that my Mommy gave it to me in a way, because what are the odds of winning $400+ in little time? So I thought she had some say in that, if so, thank you Mommy.

That's why I have such difficulty selling this S23 U, I feel that my Mom gave it to me for my birthday month, the first birthday she couldn't attend in the flesh so she attended in spirit.

Also, the puff ball, I made it. I used to make crafts and sell them to my siblings at my store called "Shop Place", I was like 8.