Big Argument

My mom and siblings had a big argument because I told my mom that I contacted my dad to see if he had $200.

We needed like $200 for the water bill, so that's why I contacted him.

My mom and siblings got very upset, lots of drama erupted.

It's so sad, my dad didn't even have the money in the end.

So much tension, my 2nd youngest sis even attempted to take the knife away from me because I felt like packing it in my bag.

So yeah, lots of drama and I felt so guilty and angry towards myself. I screamed, Christ! I have so much hate!!!   ):

Later I even kicked a heavy bucket and yelled because I got so upset after my mom was lecturing me, so then she's like, you don't get to yell!

I was so so upset that I was like, I won't help anymore! Every time I try to help I just make things worse

Later when I said something similar about cutting off financial help,

My mom was like, why threaten us?

I was like, you said you didn't need my help, back in 2024. We had an argument and I talked about all I've done for y'all,

and you said that I didn't need to help us anymore. My mom got teary eyed and so did I.

And then my mom was like, okay then, I'll repay you, dead or alive.

Anyway, I feel I'm keep messing things up for my family whenever I try to help.


Thanks for reading, please call 988 if you're feeling similarly depressed.

Update: I think I made things worse, I went outside just to take a selfie then I heard a loud scream coming from inside the house, so then I found out that my brother tried to overdose so I called 911 and told my 2nd youngest sis, then she got upset and scratched up her face and arms, I tried my best to restrain her and so did my eldest sister, I apologized to my sis multiple times and reminded her that it isn't her fault.

I said the same to my bro earlier, he scratched his arms as well.

Also, my eldest sis was in a fetal position, so when I asked if she was okay, she screamed no!

So that made me feel just so guilty and I was like, It's All My Fault! I should just kill myself!!!

911 police and fire truck arrive to assest my brother, he was doing okay.

This has been a very emotional day.

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