11:08pm I lost like $460

I feel so sad-angry at myself!

Yesterday I brought a $49.99 pack at LoneStarCasino for $90 after taking out a $82 loan from Chime to buy McDonaldz for my 2nd eldest sister and I. I won $160 something and lost it all, so I took out like $45 in CashApp loans to buy a $50 pack at GlobalPoker, I stayed up all night and all morning and finally got to about $300, then when I woke up I made it up to $517 something.

But, I redeemed a $55 Uber Eats gift card for $50, so that left me with only $467, I felt like I needed to get to $500 again, so I spun and spun until I lost like all of it and I feel so bad, I feel so su1cidal, despite just coming back from the Mental Hospital.

I tried to do a good deed, get $55 buy some fries for my mom and Wendy's and a coffee for me, but then I ended up loosing like almost all my GlobalPoker money.

I feel so so sad.

I was even shopping on BestBuy for $400+ items and stuff.

At least I brought a whole bunch of stuff for my family and stuff earlier since I had $44 on PayPal and some Chime money.

But, most of my money is gone now.

I feel like ending it all.

But, maybe I'll try to keep going.

Thanks for reading.

Please call 988 if you feel similar.

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