I lost $396

Hours earlier, tis is now 11:44pm, I made two $69.99 purchases on SpinBlitz earlier today worth about $98 each. I eventually raised my SpinBlitz balance to about $396.06 However, I wanted to reach $400, but I ended up losing it all eventually because I was faced with lots of dead spins. I feel so useless right now.

I did at least get to buy dinner for my family and stuff and paid hundreds to turn the water back on and stuff.

Also, earlier today I thought about my foster care experience, and that made me quite emotional.

My mom came back home from the utilities building.

I just loss $49 at Megabonanza and still was feeling emotional about the foster care stuff.

She noticed that something was off with my mood. So I bring up the foster care stuff.

She and I sit on the outside bench and she's crying and I'm trying to hold tears back.

I was sad that everyone is still sad despite me having made hundreds of dollars this week. And I was sad that nothing has changed since 2017, the whole foster care.

My mom told me about a metaphor about how my farther holds us back.

She said, see that caterpillar right there? He's holding it back, but I want to see it get to the other side and become a butterfly.

That to me was pretty beautiful.

Thanks for reading.