The pain is worse when you're the only one to blame.


Once again I lost all money to online casinos, Not Donation Money, I don't play with that, that was used for groceries and gas, and I highly appreciate your support everyone. 

But, anyway, I had like $255 this morning, then I turned it into like $390 something, but I wanted to get to $400 and beyond so I can pay the bills and stuff, but then I lost it all, so then I took out a loan, then lost that as well, making my lost today like $470 something.

What really sux is that I had this problem under control for a while now, weeks I haven't made a deposit, I felt so positive about the future,

until things got really bad and we were about to be evicted from our hotel and stuff last week or two, so I got back into depositing and betting online in hopes of changing things quickly, it didn't work.

I tried again, made like $600+ 14 days ago or so, and that was beautiful, spent that on my fam and I.

I needed more money now, so I tried again, made more money, things were going good, brought groceries ect.

Things going bad again, tried to make more money on the casino, lost it all, like $255 + $70 in loans, now I'm going through psychosis in a Hotel bathtub.

Anyway, it sux ducks so bad because I had this under control, I had a bl00dy system, then the system turned against me.

The system turned against me.
All the work I've put into making these funds, down the drain of despair and desperation.

It's funny, I even mentally told myself earlier that Pro-saluting is more respectable than Gambling.

Now look at me, my chances at a good start gone again. I even had picked up my new flat iron and hair scissors today. I was so optimistic to like change my hair and stuff, make it look nicer, apply to temp jobs.

Now, I'm just a depressed doomed human writing on her phone in a bathtub, and for what? an attempt to make more money, it's just not worth it.


I'm so sorry everyone, I may not be able to create content here for a while due to my mental health right now.

Everything is my fault, that's the hardest feeling to bare, no need for hell, I'm already there.

I love you all, see you again out there, somewhere.




#gamergirls #transgirl #transwoman 
#gothgirl #gamerlife

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