I lost like $160 dollars today

I feel so robbed of my money and time, and I so freaking hate myself right now and the pain within me is so unbearable.
[I felt tears in my eyes when taking this photo]

I've began the day depositing $5 at Chumba then lossing it. Then I deposit like $10 at Sportzino and actually won like $115, but then I tried to get more money and I freaking lost it all.

Then my $50 from a study I participated in yesterday finally arrived, so I deposited that at Playflame and lost it all as well.

I'm so bloody ruined, I hate how life keeps doing this to me. I win, then lose it all. I might as well not win in the first place. I wish that I could go to hell, because even hell would be better than this.

The eviction got extended to Wednesday, but that's not enough time to make $6,700, gambling sure didn't help.

I wish I could stop living or something like that. Curse this life.

Please call 988 if you're feeling similarly.

Thanks for reading!

On the upside, I did successfully get my vulvoplasty last month, so that does make me feel better about everything right now.

Although, I'm not sure how the hell I'm going to make it to my appointment in 3 days now, and the health insurance still needs to be paid by November. I freaking hate myself, why aren't I dead yet? I keep messing things up!!!!

Anyway, I'll freaking calm down, maybe everything happens for a bloody reason.

Again, call 988 if you fell depressed.

Thank you.

#gothgirl #transgirl #gambling #hardlife

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