That's not like you

A few moments ago, maybe 1:13-ish pm, on the way back home from Walmart, 

my brother mentioned that we need to go at 1pm tomorrow (for the funeral arrangements). 

So I told him that "I was just thinking about death 8_8" (I was literally just thinking that I can't k1ll myself before seeing Grandpa die, I can't let him out live me."

Anyway, my brother and driver of the car,

he apologized, so I let him know that I wanted to see Grandpa's death, then I'll feel fulfilled. I burst out laughing while talking about the possibility of seeing Grandpa die. I told my brother that Grandpa needs to die by this year, I've been waiting years. Grandpa is so mean, it's not fair.

My brother told me, "That's not like you".

I felt a bit bad, then let him know that things have changed in my mind, and that I used to actually feel sad that Grandpa was getting sicker, but now things have changed and I reminded him just how awful Grandpa is and I whispered that evil must be extinguished.

My brother was worried about me, when we arrived back home, he told me "Plase don't hurt yourself"

I told him, "We can't control what happens in life, we must live day to day.".

If you were affected by this read, please call 988. Thanks for reading!