We visited mommy tonight
Tonight the family and I visited mommy in the ICU. It was visitation one at a time this time. I didn't see her before I wanted to see her once she gets better. I didn't want my last memory of her to be sedated. The last time I saw her, we spoke, we talked, we laughed. That's the last memory I wanted of her the last time I saw her. My brother understood. I asked about her condition. He said that she's on her side, she has pneumonia. They're going to try chemotherapy in the morning. The biopsy hasn't come in yet, but they're going to try chemo tomorrow. I understood. I felt like extinguishing myself. I felt like this was all my fault. My older brother knew what I was thinking and he told me that it wasn't my fault. Also, on the way back to the car I was talking to myself about su1cid3 and stuff. My 2nd youngest sister didn't want me talking about su1cid3. I was like, how did you know? She's like, I can hear you. Then I quietly told myself somethi...